Most of us have visions of the kind of people we’d like to be. We set goals and we might work on those goals or we might just think about them. But believe it or not that is probably not what is holding you back. These 5 (often subconscious) beliefs might be clouding your vision or what is possible and holding you back from reaching your goals.
1. You’re not skilled enough
Many of us worry that we can’t apply for jobs or start businesses because we don’t know enough. The truth is no one knows what they’re doing when they start something. It’s like riding a bike– you practice and practice and practice and suddenly you’re doing it and you’re not sure how, just that you worked hard to get there. When you start or want to apply for a new position there might be someone who knows more about it than you but you might be a more adaptive learner who can see nuances to the job that will bring about improvement. When you’re thinking of starting a business there might be people who have had more experience than you but they started right where you are, at the beginning with no idea what they were doing. Before you know it you’ll be the expert mentoring someone else who is new.
2. You’re too (insert excuse here– old, timid, loud, poor, unhealthy…)
This is one of the greatest lies we tell ourselves. Not only do those things not have to be weaknesses, but they can become our superpowers! Instead of telling yourself that you’re too old, flip the script to say you have invaluable life experience that gives you a better perspective than anyone else. Instead of thinking you’re too loud, turn that around to say you’re passionate about things and have the ability to get other people on board with your ideas. Your negative self-talk can absolutely be turned around to become your positive self-talk. Next time you recognize a negative thought about yourself try looking at it in the light of how it actually helps you.
3. You don’t deserve success
This is an insidious one that gets in our subconscious often without us realizing it. We see other people succeeding and we think that it’s like traveling to space or something– it’s only for those people, like they’re different from you and they somehow deserve it. Successful people are no different from you. They have good and bad relationships in their lives, they went through struggles and triumphs just like you, and they put their pant legs on one at a time. No one deserves success more than anyone else– except that they’re willing to put in the work and be consistent. You made a reel and no one liked it? Make one every day. You made a presentation and it flopped? Ask for feedback and make another one with the suggestions. You didn’t sell any product at a market? Ask someone who has done a ton of them to guide you. Success comes to people willing to work smart and be consistent.
4. It’s too late
This one ties into beliefs #1 & 2, that we didn’t make the right choices or get the right skills earlier in life and that it’s too late. It’s true that our choices can direct our future with what is available to us but the idea that “it’s too late” is more an excuse than reality. What it often means is that there might be extra steps to reach your goal and they will make it harder, not that the goal is impossible. This leads to wrong belief #5…
5. My dreams/goals are too hard to reach
The work we are willing to do in order to reach a goal must be inversely proportional to the desire to reach said goal. I have wanted to do the splits my entire life. I have had decades to work on this goal and sometimes I will put in a few months’ work but it has always fizzled out. I finally decided my desire to reach that goal wasn’t strong enough to get me there. Maybe your goals don’t actually reflect your true inner desire. Take some time for self-reflection about the kind of person you want to become and what you are willing to do about it. Once your vision is clear there is nothing “too hard” about getting there. It becomes a matter of breaking it up into small, attainable goals.
We’ll do more blog posts about setting and attaining goals but first you have to believe you can reach them, which means getting rid of these beliefs that are holding you back. Once you clear out false beliefs you’re well on your way to becoming the person you want to be.